normal anxiety?

My new favorite blog to read is Laura from Piece of Cake....always cracking me up about her life with a gazillion kids and baking amazing cakes. Her recent post hit home. This weekend the family and i decided to walk in a benefit 5K...our plan was to walk.....but the funny part was that as soon as everyone starting running...I couldn't resist and started running too! We finished...practically last.....but we finished. The best part about it was that we did it as a family. Rob pushed Cooper in the stroller....and Caroline and I walked...jogged....held hands....and smiled the whole way. I can still hear my husband...cheering me on. I can still see Caroline's smile....as people cheered for her.

After we finished the race we walked back to cheer on a number of runners who were still trying to finish....and a runner collapsed right in front of us.....at first we thought he had a cramp or just too tired to go on...but as he received medical help we realized it was more serious...and right before our eyes he stopped breathing. I have been shaken by this still. We quickly took the kids home because they were starting to ask questions....and we later learned that he is recovering in the hospital.....thank GOD. But I still have this anxious feeling. I think about all the loved ones who have passed...ones we have lost to cancer....and i am frozen with fear.

I am trying to slow things down....not worry about the little things....let Cooper eat peanut butter sandwiches for every meal....I find myself trying to take pictures so that I won't forget every moment, every smile, every giggle. Sometimes I just sit and stare at my children and can't believe how big they have gotten....so fast...too fast. Is this part of being a mom? wishing that i could freeze time or at least slow it down.

maybe I'm feeling this way because all Caroline can talk about is turning 5..........she has been attending Kindergarten orientation all month at the "big" school....Cooper can't stop saying...."I go to peeschool when i theee!" holding up random fingers.....and Rob and I are going on a trip...WITHOUT the kids.......I need to get a grip....I know.....stop thinking that the plane is going to crash and my kids will grow up without me....ok, I'll stop now....with fear that ya'll will think I'm crazy.

Exploring with the kids

one of the things we like to do with the kids is to find a new place to explore......our new favorite spot is Naumkeag...an old mansion in Stockbridge owned by the Choate family.....once a summer "cottage."
this is a view of the forty-four room shingle style house with a tiered peony garden.

this is a view from one of the gardens looking down on one of the fountains....one which cooper tried walking into with his splash boots! This poor couple was trying to have a peaceful time....until we came along!
i couldn't get over this foliage we spotted on the bank of a brook.

my darling little boy is turning into a goofball!

this part was amazing....a small fountain of water was running down this path of bricks and then through the bushes it drops/cascades down a number of fountains and you can follow it all the way down.....Cooper loved this!

we plan on going back....without the kids....to tour the house.....and have a picnic. The kids go back this weekend for a gardening class.

Memorial Weekend...beautiful weather,

Rob home for 4 days!

we worked around the house,

I planted flowers and veggies,

we ran/jogged, walked, held hands in a 5K race practically coming in last but the fun we had was priceless.

and of course the parade! small town parade, Caroline was on the preschool float throwing candy out to the kids, the high school marching band was in front of us...it really doesn't get any better than this.....

Cooper was content eating his pop, waving, and throwing tootsie rolls.
this never happens anymore.....i caught Caroline taking a nap after the parade....I can't resist taking pictures of her when she is asleep.....she is so peaceful....I almost forget about how crazy she makes me...almost.

carousel ride

the city that we grew up in is trying to build a permanent carousel...and as a fundraiser they bring a temporary one in......we couldn't resist a few rides..... Caroline couldn't contain her excitement....this child loves rides!
Cooper just wants to know how it works.....he was fascinated by how it moved.

middle of may already!!!! here in the NorthEast we are all ready for summer to begin....but spring has been teasing us with nice weather one day....and then rain and cold the next day. Frost warnings are stopping me from buying any annuals and planting the veggie garden. But that doesn't stop Caroline from wearing dresses and flip flops!

Our days have been filled with potluck dinners....fruit kabobs were a hit with the 4 year olds.

playdates with friends

and our house is filled with lilacs....ahhhhh

this was the look i got from Cooper when I told him bunny needed a bath

A win win

A recent trip to Whitney's Farm proves to be a win win for everyone! The kids love the petting zoo and playground.

I love the greenhouse.

I told Caroline that the greenhouse was like walking into a toy store for mommy and she said, "you can't have everything." and Cooper said, "put it on your birthday list."


we compromised....I bought some basil for me and 2 m&m cookies.

(Rob, we are good parents. and the kids didn't save you any, sorry)

a throne and a driveway

If you happen to see Caroline this week...this is the first thing that she will tell you all about.....her new booster seat.....a new throne for the princess. And Coop is just as happy with Caroline's old car seat....if only they were magical seats and it would make the yelling, screaming and fighting stop while I'm driving....i can dream. Why don't they make cars with a glass divider like a taxi or a limo...i can just push a botton and the sound proof window goes up....I would have to still see them(in case of real blood shed) but do I have to hear them all the time! (Rob, you know we've tried to push that imaginary bitton a few times.) our view from the garage this morning.....pavers and rollers yippeeee!
that's Caroline sitting in her beach chair with her fleece hat on....only in the 40s this morning....but the sun is shining and its not snowing....so we are not complaining!

Happy Mother's Day!

After church we took our annual trip to the Botanical Gardens.

a little chilly...with a chance of rain
but that didn't stop us from hide and seek and many games of tag!

as the weekend comes to a close....a sigh of relief. It was a good one.

lots of family, lots of friends, Caroline's gymnastic show, Saturday brunch, and a wonderful Mother's Day spent with the family.

their back!

I never thought i would be so happy to see this parked in our driveway! I have never been a patient person.....and after 6 months of construction last year....and then waiting for them to finish this year..... has been torture for me. Being told they will show up one day and then not to see them for weeks....torture! So, as I type, I can hear the beeping of the dump truck, the rumble of the digger, and the trash talk of the crew.....I am happy.
not as happy as this little boy...... size doesn't really matter....or does it?

My favorite time of year...spring! I love the color of the grass......and all the colors we start to see. When the kids turned one my mom bought them each their own tree and we planted them in the front yard. We picked Eastern Redbuds for the beautiful purple flowers in the spring, and the leaves are heart shaped. The kids love their trees....of course Caroline's is much bigger being planted 2 years before Coops. But Coop doesn't care. See the color of the house.....we painted it last year. The house was originally a red...we painted it a light blue with navy shutters. But the house is in a bit of a transition, the front was painted but the side of the house is still red and the new addition is a light tan. Well, as i often do...i changed my mind...I'm thinking a light beige, white trim, and navy shutters.

may already? our days are filled with ordinary things...laundry, breakfast dishes, getting Caroline off to school, playgroups, getting dinner ready.....life is simple these days....and when cooper says, "lets go for a walk" I can smile and say..."OK"I cherish these days....coop puts on his splash boots, i grab an umbrella, and we walk. We notice new flowers, talk to neighbors who we haven't seen all winter, coop finds all the good puddles. this gate has a bell that he loves to ring...in hopes of seeing the resident cat.
we make our way to the "coffee shop"
a coffee for me, a "coffee milk" for coop.
a snickerdoodle cookie for coop, a scone for me.
4 years ago it was my oldest sitting across from me, now she is in preschool and I can have this special time with my little boy....who is growing up too fast.

on our walk back...the sun shines for us

and we always stop to smell the flowers

feeling like life is passing us by these days.....Caroline went to Kindergarten screening last week and we are surprising her with her new booster seat....my baby is turning 5 this summer and I am not ready.